That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
