i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize