If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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