he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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