Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
