ADVERTISEMENT

• (758): View more from St. Lucia-Carib

  He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.

  Fav 2 2735 1315

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back

  Fav 10 5156 1290

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (513): View more from Ohio

  They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that

  Fav 3 1549 794

  share tweet
  

• (+61): View more from Australia

  why is my forehead so bruised?

  (1+61): View more from

  i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.

  Fav 6 2657 1020

  share tweet
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.

  Fav 10 2507 914

  share tweet
  

• (515): View more from Iowa

  Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.

  Fav 9 858 2131

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (563): View more from Iowa

  he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.

  Fav 9 1111 2259

  share tweet
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...

  Fav 3 824 1208

  share tweet
  

• (319): View more from Iowa

  I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.

  Fav 5 1253 589

  share tweet
  

• (361): View more from Texas

  I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff

  Fav 10 1590 727

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...

  Fav 4 787 605

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (785): View more from Kansas

  These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.

  Fav 3 436 634

  share tweet
  

• (434): View more from Virginia

  I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.

  Fav 1 182 324

  share tweet
  

• (937): View more from Ohio

  I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.

  (951): View more from California

  You're going to scar your kids

  Fav 2 238 282

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (831): View more from California

  well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went

  Fav 0 34 7

  share tweet
  

Randomize