and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
A bitchslap is in order.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
