We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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