it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
