went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
