i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think people are normalizing furries
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
