I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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