Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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