yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
