No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
