R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
