Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
