so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
