Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
sarcasm needs its own font
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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