Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
