Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
