We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize