he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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