saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
