I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my shit smells like andre
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
