If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
