i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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