I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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