Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
