She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
