sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Drake has all the answers
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize