Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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