I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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