I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Found your dick twin last night
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
