i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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