Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
