I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So many bounce houses so little time
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
