You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
