Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize