I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
