oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
