i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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