I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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