i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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