I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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