fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
