I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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