their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
