She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
