Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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