: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
