this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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