We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
