i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
