She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
