At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize