I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
