she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
