I wanna bring you to show and tell
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
