I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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