You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
