i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
