Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize