That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
