I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
