Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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