I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
