If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I am mentally ready for anal.
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