i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
