my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
