the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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