it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
