she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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