My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
